Six years, baby boy.

Happy birthday, Aidan!

My heart can barely handle how much I love you.  How very thankful I am for each and every day with you.

In the picture above, you were just shy of two weeks old. When I see that photo, I remember the scent of the Purell (stationed outside your hospital room)... your fuzzy auburn hair... those long piano fingers... barely sleeping at night because I was so anxious to get to your room the next morning.  I couldn't handle being away from you.  Not for one minute.

Newborn Aidan . Photo courtesy of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

I think back to the day you were born & I'm heartbroken that, despite our first hour together, you spent your first day on your own.  Without your Mama.  We should not have been kept apart... but we were.  I will forever be incredibly sorry that I couldn't hold you on your first day on Earth.  That being said, it showed me that from the very beginning you have been strong to the core.  There have been times you've had to endure very tough stuff, and you've had to do it without being in my arms.  You're the strongest little boy I know, Aidan.  And a heart of gold...

All snuggly, after a swim . 2 years old

Even on my toughest days, your smile can change it all for me.  It's like an eraser wiping the slate clean.  Brings my breath back to my lips.  To have that power, without ever uttering a word... Nothing short of amazing.

This year, especially the past couple of months, I have watched you grow and *shine* during your school time and therapies. You've been working extra hard.  I can see the light in your eyes when the teachers and therapists talk to you.  Eating up all the attention, and I think you know that you are doing an amazing job - you love, love, love to do/learn/BE.

iPad chair . Vision therapy . Christmas 2013

The brothers are always together . 

Halloween 2013

Relaxed buddies . Easter 2013

Every moment and memory of the past six years has made you into the amazing little boy you are.  Can't change a thing, and wouldn't change a thing.  Through each struggle, you've remained the rainbow at the end of a storm.  You are silent but steadfast.  Dependent upon me, yet you keep me going.

Happy 6th Birthday, my handsome boy.

I love you with every ounce of my being.

Aidan Samuel . 9 months old