Cole's Birth Story

- Saturday January 29th -

4 am:  Wide awake!  I went to bed early the night before, but my body is so used to getting only 5 or so hours of sleep.  So I was awake before my 5 am alarm.  This was actually a good thing - I didn't have to rush before we headed to the hospital.  I had to time to take a bath and re-check my bags before any of my guys woke up!

5 am:  Time to get the boys up for their breakfast.  We followed our usual routine.  I made sure to soak up the memory of it being just us four - a quiet morning.  It was still hard for me to believe I would be having a baby later that day!

830 am:  We packed up the boys in the van.  We really wanted them to be there when their brother was born.  My parents and all my siblings came later that morning to share the day with us, and they were there to snuggle with the boys while they waited.  Aidan and Ty were such good boys the entire day.  They pretty much slept off and on - I guess that is what happens when you get tons of cuddles from family!

9 am:  We are in our room - the room where I would soon deliver our baby boy!  It still seemed so surreal.  I can't tell you how often I think about how thankful I am - how we were chosen to be Aidan and Ty's parents.  And now, another baby was sent to us.  We were chosen to care for such special boys, and now we would experience a neuro-typical child.  It still blows me away how our story has unfolded!

Our room was huge!  And thankfully so - we had a lot of family with us that day.  Everyone was so excited - ready to meet the baby, and ready to see all 3 of the boys together. 

I started getting set up in the room - all gowned up!  In comes our nurse, Amy!  The same nurse who was there when we delivered Ty.  It was so great to have a familiar face by our side - someone who knew our story! And my doctor would be there too - the same doctor who delivered Aidan and Ty.  He's amazing!  To have them there was so comforting, because they knew what we had been through the past few years.

I went over our birth plan with our nurse.  Originally we wanted to delay the cord cutting, we asked that the baby not leave the room (unless medically necessary), and to have all procedures that we chose to do be done while he was skin to skin with me.  I wanted to have the baby kangaroo care with me for the first hour to help establish a good bond and a good nursing latch.  Of course all of this was open to change (as needed)!  We are not by any means a couple who goes into labor with a rigid plan or an idea that labor would go a 'certain way'.  We had our wishes but were also very aware that labor is unpredictable!

930 am:  Time to place my IV's.  It took 3 tries but we got one in :)  The one arm where the IV's failed really hurt... especially every time the blood pressure cuff turned on.  I don't think I have to describe how annoying that blood pressure machine is haha!

1015 am:  My doctor came in to break my water.  It took a little time because at that moment I was barely a fingertip dilated.  But eventually we got that sucker popped!  Cole was probably wondering "Who is poking me and where is all my warm water going?!"  Ahhh the "pleasant" feeling of water gushing out of you... And then I remembered that the water doesn't just come out in one gush, it will reproduce itself through the entire labor.  I would feel like a human waterfall the entire day ha! 

1045 am:  I'm hooked up to pitocin!  Time to get these contractions rolling!  The nurse could only increase the amount about every 30 minutes or so.  It didn't take too long for them to start, but I kept waiting for them to pick up in intensity.  A few hours passed... I was still fairly comfortable.  Everyone in the room began to place bets on when the baby would be born and how much he'd weigh.  Most of us bet he'd arrive around 3 or 4 pm.  And no one guessed that he'd weigh over 7 lbs 13 oz.

I have to admit I went into this labor thinking it'd be pretty easy & fairly quick.  My labor with Aidan and Ty wasn't bad at all.  I was induced with them, too, and after my water was broke with them both, I had them 5 hours later.  So here I am thinking I'd have this baby 5 hours after my water broke...

I think a few people in the room thought I was handling my contractions so well.  They thought I was just holding in my complaints ha.  I could feel the contractions, and they were painful, but really they were tolerable for the most part.  The pitocin was increased, and yet I wasn't experiencing an increase in pain.

245 pm:  Epidural time.  At this point I was only about 2 cm dilated.  Because of my fast prior labors, and because with both Aidan and Ty I went from 2 cm to 10 cm in about an hour - we decided to get the epidural in before things started happening.

The epidural went in fine.  Yet I reminded the anesthesiologist that my epidurals with Aidan and Ty only half worked.  He said there was a chance this one might not work either.  Not what I wanted to hear, but I had figured that was a possibility.  With Aidan I could still feel half of my stomach/half the contractions.  With Ty the epidural had to be placed twice because the first one wore off.  But with both I was numb "down below".  When it came time to push I could feel the contractions, but I couldn't feel them actually coming out.  I told the nurse and anesthesiologist that I just didn't want to feel the baby coming out ha!

4 pm:  The epidural lasted about an hour...  The pitocin was at the max level by about this time.  I was still only dilated to 2 cm.  I wasn't dilating because the baby wasn't moving down.  The baby wasn't moving down because the contractions I was having just weren't adequate.  I had a bit of a breakdown because I was starting to really feel the contractions, yet they weren't enough to progress the labor.  I had the option to get another epidural placed, but was told that it may not work at all the second time.  I was given the option to get some IV meds to take the edge off.  I didn't know what to do - should I try for another epidural, even though it may not work?  Should I try the IV meds even though it would mean I'd still feel everything, but they'd be a little less intense?

5 pm:  This is when details start to get a little fuzzy =)  We were given the go-ahead to increase the pitocin a little past the max level.  Now I was feeling them!  Things were starting to happen!  Time was running out for me to make a decision on trying for another epidural.  Like I said earlier, once I start to dilate, I go fast.  And that's exactly what happened.  Soon it was too late to get another epidural.  I was scared out of my mind because the contractions hurt so bad & I knew this time I'd feel the baby being pushed out (for some reason that pain really terrified me!).

6 pm:  Now I'm crying (what a weenie huh!?), the contractions were coming so hard and so fast.  On top of it all, I felt the worst feeling of pressure.  I was having full body shakes and feeling sick to my stomach.  Yep - things were happening and they were happening fast!

730 pm:  It was time for Aidan and Ty to leave the room.  Two of my sisters took them out to the waiting room.  The next time I would see them, they would be big brothers!  

Jason, my parents & my sister, Karlin (she's due to have my nephew this July!), stayed in the room for the delivery.  The nurse called the doctor and told him I was going fast.  Unfortunately our nurse Amy's shift ended so she wasn't there for Cole's actual birth.  We had a new nurse come in - she was fabulous as well!  Somewhere along the way we had decided to try some IV pain meds to "take the edge off".  These meds also didn't work for me.  I was panicking - it's hard to go into a labor thinking you'll have some pain relief, only to get to the end and realize you have to do without!  Yikes!  And oh, the intensity of the amped up pitocin contractions!  Yowza!

My doctor arrived just in time - the nurses and NICU team began setting up for delivery!  I was told after I was given the IV pain meds that if I had the baby within an hour of taking them, then Cole would have to be looked at by the NICU team after birth.  I looked at the clock and I knew this baby would be here soon - thus, the NICU team would be needed.  If I had known that little fact, I would have skipped trying the IV meds.  Not to mention, they didn't work anyway!  So, we would not be able to delay the cord cutting.  Baby would have to go to the table to be assessed right away.

8 pm:  Fully dilated and ready to push!  I was so scared - the one thing I didn't want to feel was that!  The contractions & the feeling of pressure were just too much - I didn't know if I could handle the pain of the baby coming out, too.  I remember just squeezing Jason's hand and I kept saying "This is ridiculous!"  "I don't like this."  "This isn't cool!"  hahaha  

I was so thirsty, I couldn't breathe, and I was so hot.  Everything happening at once... it boggles my mind how women don't pass out from this kind of pain!?!?  I thought for sure I was dying!

I started pushing and man, oh man!  I will never forget that burning pain!  Whoa!  I gave it all I had because I knew once he was out the pain would be gone!

And it didn't take long... the doctor gave me a small episiotomy (and I ended up with some small tears).  A few more pushes... I could hear my family in the background chanting, getting excited, telling me how good I was doing, and that he was almost there!  Jason looked very concerned for me, he kept telling me the "pain was temporary" and that I was doing so good.  He was a great support partner!  I heard the doctor say "two times", and later Jason told me the cord was wrapped around Cole's neck twice.  I felt the doctor swiftly unwrap the cord.

820 pm:  Finally!  Baby is out and placed on my stomach.  He was beautiful, and he was long, and I remember thinking he didn't look exactly as I had imagined he would - he was just plain amazing!  At first he was very blue, I'm guessing because of the cord being wrapped around his neck.  The nurses whisked him off to the warming table where he immediately pinked up!  And oh, the cries!  He started to cry & cry...!  Such a beautiful sound.  Aidan never really was able to cry, and at birth Ty only let out a few cries.  To hear the protests and wails of baby Cole was such an awesome sound!

One of the first things I heard when Cole came out was the nurse announcing the time of his birth - she said the time and I knew right away that it was a special time.... because Aidan was also born at 820 pm!  What are the odds!  So, although Cole didn't arrive on the 18th like his Daddy and brothers, he did come at the same time as one of his brothers.  So sweet!

As the doctor worked on stitching me up & delivering the placenta, I looked off at the warming table to try to sneak another peek at my newest little man.  I couldn't wait to hold him!  He wasn't at the table very long... he was soon in my arms.  I immediately put him to my chest, skin to skin.  He latched on and started nursing right away!  Another beautiful moment.  Aidan and Ty had so many seizures right at birth that they weren't able to latch on & nurse very well.  It was so surreal to hold a baby who wasn't having seizure after seizure.  

It didn't take long for the family to ask what the baby's name was - the secret would finally be out :)  Jason announced the name - Cole Nathaniel.  We chose Cole simply because we liked the name.  And we chose Nathaniel because it had a similar sound to it as Aidan & Ty's middle names - Samuel & Gabriel.

Holding Cole for the first time I started to also think about the first time I held Aidan & Ty.  I thought of how differently each birth experience was, and how special each birth day was for all three of my boys.  Each had their own story, and each so memorable in their own way.  I knew I was about to experience a "typical" hospital experience for the next few days, it would be different than with Aidan and Ty.  I felt a little sad because a part of me wished Aidan & Ty would have been born without the instant seizures, without the immediate struggles.  They were, and are, so strong...

Aidan & Ty were brought in to meet their brother for the first time.  Our whole family in one room, we were finally complete.  All 5 of us!  I'm not sure the boys really understood there was a new little life in my arms, but they did seem excited to be near Mommy again :)

Cole was weighed and re-checked after I had held him for awhile.  I couldn't believe he was 8 pounds!  He was 20.5" - and of course I timidly asked how much his head measured - it was 13.5" I believe.  That is one inch smaller than what Aidan & Ty's head measures now. 

And just as I had asked, Cole never left my side.  We asked that he be bathed in the room with us, and he was.  I explained to our new nurse about my fear of Cole leaving the room - I told her that when Aidan left to get his bath in the nursery, he never came back.  He was then taken to the NICU, and I didn't get to see him for many hours.  Thankfully the nurse understood, and she even said that the same thing happened to her.  It was nice that she understood why I'd be scared for Cole to leave.

10 pm:  By this point, most of my family had left for the night (after getting to hold Cole for the first time of course!).  Jason took the boys back home, where my Mom would stay with them for the night.  My sister, Diandra, stayed with Cole and I while I was moved up to another room.

Being in the new room, settling in with my new little man, and there was no sense of anything being 'off' with Cole.  Such a different experience - for him to just be ok!  To not have to worry or wonder if he was in any pain... I'm not going to lie, there were times a small part of me wondered if the other shoe would drop, so to speak.  A nurse from the nursery came to check on Cole & I sat quietly, not moving, until she said that Cole looked great.  I held my breath when the pediatrician came in to check the baby the next day.  I didn't breathe... as he listed off all the parts of Cole that he checked - and he said our little baby was a typical, healthy little boy.  I wished Jason would have been there to hear that... (he was bouncing back and forth between the hospital and home to check on Aidan & Ty).  

There were a few times that Jason asked me if Cole was having a seizure.  He would see Cole make a jerking movement, or what I told him was a typical newborn tic.  The doctor told me those movements were normal, but I wished Jason had been there to hear that straight from him.  I think Jason might have needed that reassurance those first few days. 

Cole & I were released from the hospital 2 days after he was born, on a Monday.  It was a snowy, cold day!  We were so excited to bring him home, and yet I was sad that my journey with our doctors and nurses would now be over.  We had been through so much with them.  But we were onto another chapter!  We were bringing another precious miracle home.  So blessed!!  

I am so thankful that Cole & I were sent home with little to no instructions, and with no major worries.  In the grand scheme of things, I know my labor wasn't the worst ever to be experienced haha.  I know women have gone through harder and longer labors... but at that moment, at that very time, it seemed ridiculously hard!  I will surely remember Cole's birth day - just as I remember every moment of Aidan & Ty's birth stories.  Such amazing days, my little miracles...