Cole is ONE

My sweet baby Cole,

Here it is... Today you are one year old.  I've been thinking about writing this letter for sometime now - anxious to celebrate you.. and I have so much I want to say to you.

To be honest, this is the fourth letter I have written.  The three before this just didn't seem to do you justice.  How does a Mama, who is so unbelievably proud & grateful, put into words how much she loves her blue eyed baby boy? There aren't enough words in the dictionary to express how much I love you, Peanut.

I will surely shed some tears writing this letter to you - happy tears & nostalgic tears.  A Mother is never quite ready for her baby to grow up.  There are moments where I want to hold onto you forever & remember your size, your smell, how you wrap your tiny little arms around my neck as you hug me... For you will only be this little once.  Yet, there are even more moments where I sit back in amazement as I watch you grow into the 'big boy' you are today.  I am honored to be your Mama.

I've been looking back through my blog posts from when I was pregnant with you.  I read the letter that I wrote to you the day before you were born.  As cliche as it sounds, it literally feels like just yesterday that your Daddy, brothers and I were at the hospital, in a room jam packed with family, waiting for your arrival.

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. ~ 1 Samuel 1:27

~ Your first breath took ours away. ~

You are nothing short of a miracle, Cole Nathaniel.

I prayed for you to come into our family, Cole.  I can't quite explain in words all the odds you went up against when you made your way to this world, but trust me - you are a miracle.

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. ~ Job 9:10

You amaze me every. single. day. 

You are the happiest little baby, and I love that.  You spread your sunshine everywhere you go.  You flash your cute little smile, you hug anyone in your path and sometimes you tilt your head to the side in the most adorable, bashful way... You're a charming little heart breaker!

3 months old

Ladies Man!  4 months old

6 months old

9 months old

And oh, those blue eyes.... I never imagined I'd have a blue eyed babe.  Beautiful.  I love that you, Aidan and Ty all have different eye colors.  Each unique in your very own way.

Oh, so sweet.

4 months old

5 months old

I love that you make everyday seem like a new adventure. You always wake with a smile on your face & I can see the wheels in your head just a spinning.  You love to learn, do, see, try... I love to sit back and watch you play.  You are wise beyond your years (or year, ha!)

The milestones.  Not a moment taken for granted.  Because of your brothers, we know to appreciate each and every achievement.  I remember the day your Daddy cried tears of joy because you held your bottle by yourself.  And I will always remember the day you took your very first steps. We were playing in the kitchen and I could just sense that you were ready... I sat with my arms reached out for you, and at 10 months old, you gave me the biggest smile and put one foot in front of the other.  The hug I got from you after those 3 little steps was the greatest.  Your face beamed with joy and my heart was bursting with pride.

4 months old

Here  We  Go !!!

And now little man, at one year old, you are running, climbing, going up and down stairs... You have 6 teeth, you dance & sing to music, and you have the most adorable vocabulary... You can say cat, kitty, Mama, Dada, gone, truck, and car.... Though, you tend to to call everything 'Gaa'.  

You've had a year filled with many 'firsts'.  You have many more 'firsts' to come as you grow up - first day of school (I'll bawl!), your first time riding a bike (there are bike 'jumps' near our home!), your first time driving (Eeek!), and your first love (you're already a heartbreaker!  but she better not break yours!)...

3 weeks old

I love that you kick your leg just as you're about to drift into dreamland.

2 weeks old - in the sleeper Aidan & Ty wore!

2 months old
A thumb sucker until you became mobile & discovered toys!

I love that your favorite food is toast.  Between the two of us, we could (okay,we do) eat a whole loaf of bread everyday.

1st taste of food - avocados!
He wasn't so sure at first!

His first french fry!

Turkey, asparagus & adorable grins =)

I love your fat little thumbs and your wide hands.

Future tradesman?
Bet you will be able to palm a basketball!

I love that you'll turn and reach for me when something scares you.  I love that you reach for me when you are happy & excited.  And lately, every now and then, you will stop mid-play to come give me a hug.  Best. thing. ever!

I love your love for anything with wheels, just like your Daddy.  You pushing around little cars is one of the most precious things I've seen - and the sound effects you make are an added bonus!

Your present from your Daddy... an '84 SVO Mustang. Daddy sold his car so that he could get this for you!!  I imagine you two will spend many hours out in the garage working on this bad boy!

You're a light sleeper, just like your Mama.  (It's no coincidence that we have basically no pictures of you sleeping after the age of 2 months!)  Sure, I may fuss and moan in the middle of the night when you wake up at all hours & I'm exhausted... but I'll be honest, there are many times I think about how someday you will wake up and not need me.  I'm okay with you needing me in the middle of the night & curling up to sleep next to Daddy and I.    

I love that your little voice sounds just like Ty.  Sometimes I have to look to see which one of you is 'talking'. You sound so much alike.

One of the sweetest pictures, ever.

I love your many expressions and that they are just like Aidan's.   There is no hiding what you are thinking or feeling! Your thoughts are written all over your face!  You're inquisitive, wondrous, hilarious & lovable.

I love that you are the best little big brother, hands down. Since you were a very little baby, you've had this uncanny sense of the world around you - especially when it comes to your brothers.   You have always had concern for them, even at the littlest age.  If one of your brothers isn't in the room with us, you look for them.  Now that you are almost one, you have started to really play with them.  You like to climb up on Aidan and Ty's laps.  You love to be close to them.  In pictures where the three of you are together, you are always reaching out to touch them.  Always.  Makes my heart melt.  You make Aidan and Ty smile.

Holding Aidan's hand...

As I watch you grow I can't help but wonder about all the things you'll accomplish as you grow up, all the things you'll aspire to be and do... You're into everything already - I see you do amazing things every single day, so I know there are no limits for your future.  And it doesn't matter if you follow music, medicine, construction, fishing, football -- you can do it all!.  To quote that goofy redhead who you watch with amusement (no, not Elmo, ha!).... 
If you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.  ~ Conan O'Brien

Will you be an artist?

Your first time coloring at 10 months...

Musician?

Drumroll please!

Computer programmer?

Watching Timmy Time!

Outdoorsman?

Sneaking outside!

Animal tamer?

(no animal was harmed in the taking of this photo, ha!)

Comedian?

Goofball!

You can be anything - do anything - go anywhere!  After watching you grow this past year... seeing your tenacity, your ambition, your curiosity, and your gentle demeanor - I have no doubt you will make a huge impact on this world. You already have in your first year.

There are days I think my heart will literally burst from all the love I have for you and your brothers.  There aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe how fiercely I love you.

Keep that smile on your face, Sunshine. 

Happy 1st Birthday, Cole Nathaniel!

Love,

Mama